Thank you for visiting the Balendup art gallery, voted most flammable building from 1983 through to 1994. We are currently showcasing a collection of local artists and their early works.
This, now carbon neutral, art gallery is best enjoyed walking counter clockwise around the circular room and reading these small, inobtrusive, plaques along the way.
If you have any questions about the gallery or its paintings please internalise these thoughts and imagine them wafting off on an autumn breeze, a response will be mailed to you shortly.
This gallery is non-smoking and pro book-burning.
Thank you for visiting.
-The picture that can not be removed-
By Dorylin Leanio
Unhappy with the “Vainly utilitarian and abhorrent” (Sic), display policy of this gallery, Dorilyn afixed her own self portrait to this wall with liquid nails and an insoluble epoxy resin.
The painting itself is a simple watercolour of minimal skill, but the ironic nature of this piece has given it artistic merritt well beyond quality.
Donations are being accepted to the recovery of the security guard That Mrs. Leanio clubbed with a brick during her reverse thievery in hanging the picture.
Get well soon Alex!
-It must not be named-
Unknown
This painting of the featureless black orb, that silently looms within Balendup’s community garden, appeared on our gallery wall some weeks ago.
We have not been brave enough to attempt its removal.
Note how this painting does not take form on a canvas but instead is scribed directly onto the wall in ever darkening & formless shades.
Look closely into the centre of its mass.
Darker, ever darker.
No paint could ever be so dark and yet the longer you stare the darker this orb becomes. How long has it afixed your gaze now? Minutes? Days? The enveloping draw of its centre whispers in a mumble that you only just understand.
“It…..is…..fear.
I……am…It
Hello?”
-Blue pot and Lemon-
By Henri Matisse
This painting is an original Matisse.
-14 by 8-
By Julia Morrow
Note the absence of brush strokes that bring attention to the complete subtlety of the subject, a deeply intense concentration of utter detail that could steal the breath from even the most casual viewer.
Many say the most important brushstrokes are the ones that the artist chooses to leave off the canvas. It could then be stated that this blank canvas is a masterwork of exceptional quality. It could be said…
-My Garden-
By Steven Apsley
This oil painting of Mr Apsley’s garden affects several moods. Note the wilted leaves, caught still in motion on an unseen breeze, hanging, just barely, by a fragile stem.
The small row daisies arranged so curiously.
Look closer at the daisies.
Are they arranged for aesthetic reasons? Or are they hiding something beneath the earth?
Many have hypothesized that they represent the ever present doubt behind action, further stating that Mr Apsley has intentionally placed them so that all lines converge towards their base. Others claim that this is simply the spot Steven had buried his cat, George, and planted the Daisies in his remembrance.
What do you think these small flowers represent? Look closer. See the daisies. What could a flower mean?
-Bin-
Maintenance
Please place any discarded waste into the adjacent bin.
Thank you,
Maintenance.
-The struggling author-
Aya Myall
A portrait of anguish and beauty.
Aya, a talented painter and cruel person, has taken to painting her husband, documenting his struggles, as he attempts to write the spy thriller that he has always dreamed to complete. Nearing his 40s, Mr Myall is currently experiencing a mild existential crisis and the incessant bullying of his wife has only raised his blood pressure.
Note the jaundice of his skin, the distraught look on his face while being mockingly painted.
Does true art lies in the torment of others, or is beauty held in the eye of the bully?
-Exit sign-
Maintenance
If you are reading this you have found the ladder in the maintenance cupboard, please move as you are now blocking the doorway.
Jacob McCray
-2018
Sunday Short Stories 