What is peppermint tea?
Peppermint tea says a lot about you as a person. It says “Hey this guy or gal is a rambunctious go getter and man they’re looking really swell today.”
Unfortunately the psycofrequencial good vibes emitted by the, very encouraging, tea are at a polar dissonance to human brain patterns and can not be translated. The ‘positivity-waves’ (Or P-waves) are instead picked up by rats and some indoor plants, such as petunias.
In response to peppermint’s well wishes we often scald it with boiling hot water (such is the human way).
Known colloquially as a leaf amongst tea drinkers, peppermint is more accurately termed as a holistic bacteria culture. Just fill up a jar with bags, and in a few weeks years will have flown by with the jar remaining ever full.
You’re sure you’ve been having Peppermint every sunday morning while reading the paper? You’re sure? Maybe you bought another packet and forgot. Yeah, maybe you just forgot…
Did something just say that you’re beautiful?
Note:
Do not store Peppermint tea in a cardboard box or canvas sack!
The bacterial nature of the tea will expand leaving a pungent near-visible smell that leeches in a very relaxing way into the rest of the cupboard. This effect is known as ‘peppermint skinning’ and can rot marine grade plywood if left exposed for long durations.
The science of Peppermint:
In 1833 scientists believed that Peppermint drunk once a day would prevent scurvy. Later, in 1834, they upped the dosage to two cups following a statistical yearly rise in scurvy. Later years would trend to brutalistic counterclaiming and finally level into a soft unassured murmur of “apple a day?”
In summary:
Will peppermint tea continue to be the mildly tasteless second option when you don’t really want the caffeine of a third cuppa or when you are out of milk?
Sure….I guess? I mean that herbal tisane garbage is probably out of date now. Does Tisane go out of date? *Sigh* whatever it’ll do -the kettle is whistling.
Jacob McCray
-2018
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