Founded in 1923, Balendup’s largest–and most hostilic–tea distributor was originally established by horticulturist George Tennish in hopes that an Australian Business Number would stop people stealing from his tea bushes, as Balendup council’s garden rose act still allowed the theft of plants and or flowers from a neighbour’s garden if that person(s) hath forgotten the birthday of their spouse(s). This oddly specific law had been long abused by Balenduptites, and forced many gardeners to try growing plants in the lounge rooms or any unused cupboards.
For more on this subject please purchase Margaret Norril’s book ‘Tree-fruit and Doilies: Your Starters Guide to Interior Gardening’.
Early in the Tea co.’s history George could be seen each Sunday driving the week’s stock to market in the back of his now iconic FJ ute.
Claiming that Sunday was the best day for driving as all the government endorsed non-thinkers–the local constabulary– were in church. This brief moment of lawlessness allowed George to transport his stock without being fined for speeding and/or littering: due to his staunch refusal to buy a tarp.
Brown-leaf road is now believed to have been named after this inefficient method of transport and the lakes of the lower Balendup valley may never fully recover from the stray tea dust pollution.
In the early years of the Tea Co. George operated out of a small stall in the Balendup marketplace.
On a wooden bench, made from stolen pallets and wine barrels, George would sell scoops of his Signature blend tea inside small canvas sacks–stolen from the bins out the back of the dress makers.
Becoming more popular as people eventually forgave George’s wanton thievery, the Signature blend began to quickly sell out each Sunday, leading the company to release an Adequate blend and the now infamous Cuttings blend.
[information on the Cuttings blend has been redacted from this article. Balendup Tea Co. apologies for–and to–all those involved. Information on this incident is still freely available via court application. Attaining these documents implies indicative acceptance of the no fault policy. All records must be held for twenty years.]–the orb that only grows darker.
Despite this setback the company began to grow and soon had five paddocks all filled with the highest quality tea bushes.
Tennish field, as it came to be known, was purchased and converted into a multi-story milling and packing house that was quite revolutionary for the time. Taking inspiration from assembly line productions, the factory had an integrated rail system installed that enabled workers to shift much higher abouts of tea product than the previous wheelbarrow and shovel method allowed.
The 1930s were a marked occasion for the Tea Co. as the motto tripling production tenfold became the driving focus behind their continual growth.
In the early 1970s the Tea Co., now transporting their product Australia wide, released a ceramic mug eponymously named the Balley mug and was to be sold with pre-packed tea leaves. Deciding to add a cork lid after the chaos of porcelain and loose leaves that transporting them had caused; the Balley mug was soon found within every pantry and lion’s club across regional N.S.W.
The mug, although a very well selling product, proved to be inconvenient in application, as to actually make a cup of tea another cup had to be found, and buying a second Balley mug only doubled the problem.
Other innovations of the 70s included the Ersatz second leaf tea scheme which encouraged people to post used tea bags back to the Tea co. where the mulch would then be washed, dried and repacked for sale. This while not provably illegal, was found by court of law to still be abit yuck and a cease and desist notice was issued on a if you would kindly basis.
The 2000s brought change as tea production was shifted overseas to a new factory and the original Tennish field was salted so nothing may ever grow there again. This was done in an effort to modernize Balendup Tea Co. so that it may continue producing the finest blends of tea in the most modern of markets.
George, who was removed from the board, was originally quite opposed to these changes and now fires a warning shot at any company employee who approaches the old factory.
It is rumoured that he managed to revitalise the old factory and has started a rival company, but we here at Blaendup Tea Co choose to believe this slander to be unsubstantiated. We encourage all our customers to pointedly ignore George, as the old duffa surely can’t have that much ammunition left…surley.
Today our company has become synonyms with Balendup, with much of its advertising still adorning shop fronts and bus shelters; the friendly Arial bold font still proclaiming that same old Tea Co. message, Balendup tea. DRINK IT!
So why not boil the billy, grab a Balley mug and drink it.
Drink it!
DRINK IT!
J.McCray
2020
Sunday Short Stories 